Saturday, March 29, 2014

Residency Recovering

After the first few days of monitoring in the clinic, I am carted off to the building next door. This is the recovery center. I'll share pics in greater detail when I'm more mobile.

They encourage independence here. I replace my own dressings, go downstairs for meals, and let them know when I'm in pain vs. Nurses checking in on me. They still do the blood pressure, temperature, heart rate routine, but otherwise it's more on me.

With so many others using the wifi, I haven't even be able to watch a YouTube video unless it's 3 am. I'm really upset about the poor wifi service because I'm cut off from everyone.

They also don't permit guests outside of specific times, and only in the living room. Several guests violate this agreement but they and their daughters sprawl out on the couches for comfort, leaving me with no where to be comfortable to see my mom on the rare occasions she visits. This ends up with a blatantly biased power dynamic where trouble makers are doing anything they want and the rest of us have no choice but to lay down alone in our beds upstairs with no one to visit and no wifi to talk to anyone. I can't even talk to my daughter anymore. I'm going to bring it up today because this is absurd.

The same girls who feel they can do anything they want also feel they should make every sentence to me unsolicited advice about how to do this and that. Their "sage wisdom" has so far included trust, a mother's love, dressing well for your body, passing, and how to handle being stared at.  I am at a loss for how to explain that of the people in the conversation I am, 1. The only employed one 2. The only one who has a popular online presence 3. The only one whose heart want recently broken by some guy.

These girls need to wake the fuck up and realize it is completely inappropriate to be dispensing unsolicited advice. I guess I'll have to wake them up. Fun times.

A lot of this happened yesterday when I was sitting in the living space. Sitting is not advised for long periods. I over did it. Now I have bleeding and bruising. Yay mei. Sigh.

So today I'm going to rest until mom gets here, speak to the nurse about these couch laying bitches, and come up with a witty remark to get these children to realize I'm beyond them and their advice is not worth a dime.

Thursday, March 27, 2014

I has a pussy

The deed is done! My upgrade is complete. I am now sole proprietor of a pussy.

I will be posting more as my recovery continues, but I'll recap so far.

I was taken up into surgery, given a Epidural. I had the wildest technicolour trip ever, and woke up plus pussy.

Day One was mostly me high. When the pain got to be too much, they would give me a shot. into my arm the needle went, and a burning sensation set forth. Moments later the pain was vastly reduced. These shots are available every other day. Today I'm on a pill instead.

Today has been better. Like in Thailand, I became nauseous as a side effect of the anesthetic. I threw up a few times, but have otherwise been Ok. I'm so amazed at how quickly recovery occurs.

Last night I was prompted to stand up beside the bed for a minute. Today I've had several short walks around the clinic. They encourage walking. It helps.

My dressing is checked a half dozen times a day, replaced three. I haven't had much bleeding. This stretchy underwear is filled with Gause, pads, and huge amounts of ice.

Tonight my IV comes out and, I think, my catheter as well. Tomorrow at 10 am I'm transferred from the clinic to the adjoined residences for my continued recovery, and all the lessons about cleaning and dilating my pretty little pussy.

Well, what WILL be my pretty little pussy. I had a sneak peak and I'm so swollen she is more like Charybdis.

More to come. Please comment if you have questions you want answered, or if this is helpful at all. 

Tuesday, March 25, 2014


Well I'm in the clinic. Tomorrow morning at noon is my surgery.

I arrived in Montreal Monday morning. Until now, I'd been staying in this adorable bed and breakfast called Gite du Marigot. The owners are absolutely amazing, friendly, and chic. I recommend you visit, even if pussy isn't involved.

Before arriving at the clinic, I had to have an enema and shave extensively and meticulously.

When I arrived, they did the paperwork, took my blood pressure,  and explained that my surgery will be tomorrow at noon, and I've got a few things to tackle tonight.

Make sure your shaved!
Have another enema, why don't ya!
Wash your body with this gooey red soap

All done! I'm in my room now, waiting for the nurse to come over and check that I shaved properly.

Everyone seems nice. This one nurse totally gets my sense of humor, so that's good.

I'm scared now. I've seen many of the other girls post op and they are all fabulous. Fear is unfounded. Full speed ahead.

I'll be out of commission tomorrow, but they have wifi here and I will post again once I'm able to.

Love you all,

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

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